Opening Quote: ""Well, well," said he, as he stroked his hair down on his head. "Who would have thought it?"" – Hans in Luck
Part 1: "A Sore Subject"
Monroe: [He tries to tune the zither, but it plays out of tune] All right, wait. Ah, it should be... [the zither continues playing out of tune]
[Rosalee walks over and uses a tuning wrench on the zither, which makes it play in tune]
Monroe: Look at you!
[Bud comes into the shop]
Monroe: [He chuckles] Who knew? That's impressive!
Rosalee: [To Bud] Hi. Can I help you?
Bud: Yeah, yeah. Uh... [He clears his throat] Hi. Hi, you must be Rosalee?
Rosalee: Yes. [She shakes Bud's hand]
Bud: And you must be Monroe. [He shakes Monroe's hand]
Monroe: And you are?
Bud: [Chuckling] Ah! I'm sorry. Bud. Bud Wurstner. Nick, my buddy Nick, you know, the Grimm, said you might be able to help me out with a problem that I have. Not that I have... uh, it's a problem that my friend has. See, my friend is having some hair loss issues, and he asked me to help out. So, I asked Nick if he knew anyone I could talk to, and he recommended that I talk to you. So now I'm here, talking to you.
Monroe: Why doesn't your, uh, "friend" just come in himself. Or, herself. [Looking at Rosalee] What? I'm sorry. You know what, you're right. It's none of my business.
Bud: No, no, no. It's okay. It's just... it's sort of a sore subject, because of, well... [He woges]
Rosalee: Is your friend experiencing hair loss all over?
Bud: No, no, no. Just around the head. Strictly the head.
Rosalee: I think I can put something together for you. Can I give it to you later today?
Bud: That's great! That's great! Thank you! Thank you so much! [He laughs and leaves the shop]
Monroe: Poor guy. I have never even heard of a bald Eisbiber. I mean, imagine the implications. [He sighs] Anyway, how can I help?
Monroe: What? No? Come on! I can light the burner!
Part 2: "A Helping Hand"
Rosalee: Hello. [She tosses a fruit-like ingredient to Monroe]
Rosalee: Cut that in half, please.
[Monroe cuts the object in half and examines and smells it as Rosalee searches for another ingredient] Rosalee: [Squeezing by Monroe to get to the beaker] Excuse me. [Pointing in front of Monroe] That right there, is the Lamfosloish. Crush one clove into a powder, and then you can add it to the beaker. [She adds ingredients to the beaker] Ooh-ee! It's the primary base agent in hair regeneration, so, a little goes a long way. So one clove is plenty. [She leaves the room]
Monroe: [He grabs a second clove to crush] Primary base agent. Never heard a man complain about too much hair. [He puts the second clove with the first one and crushes them both into powder as he hums]
Part 3: "Friendly Neighborhood Eisbiber"
Monroe: Try... this one.
[Rosalee takes a bite]
Monroe: Any idea?
Monroe: It's actually seaweed-dandelion.
Rosalee: Mmm! Mmm! [She takes a drink of coffee]
Monroe: Um, yeah. You have to try this one next.
Bud: [He comes into the shop with extra hair on his head] Oh, hey, you two. Uh, this is from my friend. [Referencing the basket he is holding] Well, technically my friend's wife. It's, uh, huckleberry. [He hands the basket to Monroe] He's already a little thicker up there. [He points to his head] And he wanted me to stop by and let you know how happy he is.
Rosalee: Well, please tell your friend that he is very welcome.
Bud: I will, I will. Thanks.
Monroe: Hey! Did, um... did you... a little... with the... [Referencing Bud's hair]
Bud: Oh! Uh, well, I tried just a little bit. You know, for my friend's sake. He was a little nervous, because he's not used to, exactly, experimenting with, you know, strange remedies. Not that I am! And, not that your remedies are strange! Oh boy, that came out bad. I didn't mean for it to come out the way it did. I'm sorry.
Rosalee: But I'm not the least bit offended.
Bud: Ah! Good, good, good. Thanks. Thanks. Uh, well, see ya. Thanks again. [He leaves]
Monroe: What? Come on, I had to say something. I mean...
[Rosalee laughs and Monroe sighs]
Monroe: Okay, um... here, you never tried this one!
Rosalee: Let's try the pie!
Monroe: Well, there's, like, five left!
Rosalee: It's okay.
Monroe: I mean, you don't wanna try this spirulina and raspberry—
Rosalee: No, I'm good.
Rosalee: I'm good, thanks.
Monroe: It's just plain old huckleberry. I mean, this is goji bean and rice leaf.
Part 4: "Late Night Crisis"
Monroe: So you say this is for a Scharfblicke?
Monroe: I knew a Scharfblicke once in grade school. He didn't talk much. I think he was self-conscious about the... the... beak... thing.
[There is knocking at the door]
Monroe: [He peeks out through the door window] Oh, boy.
Monroe: Um, It's Bud.
Rosalee: The Eisbiber?
Rosalee: Well, let him in.
Monroe: Mmm, okay. [He opens the door]
Bud: Oh, thank God. You gotta help me. I don't know what to do! All of a sudden it just went... [He buzzes as he references his severe hair growth] I tried cutting it, and it just grows back quicker and thicker!
Rosalee: Bud... I am so sorry. I have know idea how this happened.
Rosalee: Just wait. [She leaves the room for a few seconds]
Bud: Well if you think this is bad, you should see my friend! We gotta help him, it's a lot worse!
Monroe: Look, Buddy, you can drop the whole imaginary friend act, okay? We're not going to tell anyone. Right now, we just gotta focus on helping you.
Bud: Imaginary? [He walks towards the door]
Monroe: Where are you going?
Bud: [He gets his friend, John Oblinger, from outside and brings him into the shop] This guy look imaginary to you, pal? Huh?
Rosalee: It's okay. Hang tight, everybody. We're going to figure this out. [She flips through a book]
[Later, Monroe and Rosalee apply a treatment to Bud and John's heads]
Rosalee: With this treatment, your haircut should last six weeks, not six hours. And Bud, we're really sorry we ever doubted you about your friend.
Bud: Oh, that's okay.
Monroe: And... Oblinger... [He stammers]
Rosalee: We're really sorry we put you through this, and if there's any way we can make it up to you, please don't hesitate to ask.
Monroe: What she said.
John: Well... I have this friend... [He looks over at Bud]
[Monroe and Rosalee look at each other, and Monroe sighs]